- SEPARATE THE PROBLEM FROM THE
PERSON.
Express the conflict as a shared
problem, the resolution of which will benefit you both. Do not indulge
in blaming or name-calling. Rather ...
- SEEK TO UNDERSTAND BEFORE
SEEKING TO BE UNDERSTOOD.
Accept that you probably do not
know what it is that most concerns the other person. Both you and
the other person has his or her own subjective reality about what
is important and why. Knowing and understanding ...
- BE CLEAR, STRAIGHTFORWARD
AND SPECIFIC.
State clearly what you have seen,
heard and experienced that has influenced your perception of this
conflict. Tell the other person what ...
- LOOK FOR THE NEEDS AND INTERESTS
THAT LIE BEHIND EXPRESSED VALUE JUDGEMENTS AND DEMANDS.
Arguing about the validity of
either of your value judgments or demands of each other is likely
to lead to a stalemate or ...
- KEEP TALKING EVEN WHEN THE
GOING GETS TOUGH.
Withdrawing into silence or breaking
off interaction with the other person when the going gets tough may
lead to a rapid escalation in ...
- MAKE IT EASY FOR THE OTHER
PERSON TO BE CONSTRUCTIVE.
Extend appreciation and respect
to the other person when you can do so sincerely. Show the other person
that you care about the ...
- LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE;
OPENLY EXPRESS THIS LEARNING TO THE OTHER PERSON.
Review the process of the development
of this conflict. Notice the actions that have influenced the tensions
resulting in ...